Thought Provoking Essay On Writer's Block

You know the story. It’s late at night. Quiet. You’re on the computer, bleary eyed and disappointed that you’ve exhausted your bookmarked collection of funny cat pics and German scat films. Sighing, you flick back to your favourite word processing program to finish off your article or work plan or essay or fictional prose. Your fingers fall quivering on the familiar keys of your keyboard. You’re ready to type your tits off.

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I think nearly everybody in the literate world has experienced some level of writer’s block. God, I’m struggling just writing this very blog entry. Yes, I’m suffering writer’s block while writing about… writer’s block. I should be writing Alanis Morissette lyrics or some shit.

I guess I’m lucky that I haven’t suffered from particularly persistent cases of writer’s block; mine will usually only linger for a few days, to a week at most. You do hear of the odd case of established authors getting writer’s block for years and years, and in some cases even abandoning their profession altogether. Extremecore.

I’m somewhat sceptical that the writer’s block I encounter is a serious problem. Could it simply be my addled brain inventing this condition as a means of justifying my lack of creative inspiration? Addled. Addled?

‘Addled’ is a funny word. Why the fuck does it remind me of a snake? Hmm. I Google’d that shit anyway, just to make I was using it in the right context. Apparently ‘addled’ can mean two things:

• to be mixed or confused
• to become rotten

…I guess both are applicable here. Anyway, I conducted some research (by research I mean skimmed Wikipedia, and by skimmed Wikipedia I mean watched Redtube) into the causes of writer’s block. My findings were most illuminating. The most common causes of writer’s block include:

• physical illness
• depression
• the end of a relationship
• financial pressures
• a sense of failure

…none of which apply to me. I think. Although I may be developing both depression and a sense of failure after reading the last possible cause:

“Writer's block may also come from feeling intimidated by a previous big success.”

Previous success? Me? I’d be fucking elated with any previous success.

Achievement complexes aside… As a creative writer, I personally encounter writer’s block mostly when I’m writing a section of a story that I’m just not interested in at all. I might be trying to conjure up a simple transition, or add to the exposition of some bland character, and my brain will just seize up, draw a total blank. I’ll pull on the cord and out will fly a cutlery set instead of a parachute. It’s frustrating to say the least, especially when working to a deadline, and can potentially result in some poorly written stuff.

However, it’s a completely different kettle of dicks when I’m composing the exciting parts. I can’t write fast enough when it comes to the chapter about the dismembered prostitute. Just try and stop me when it’s time to pen the overtly descriptive, boldly explicit seven page blowjob scene. I’m an orgy of activity when it comes to these bits.

My diagnosis? Selective Writer’s Block.


Next week: overcoming writer’s block.










Oh, and adder = a type of venomous snake. That’s why ‘addled’ reminded me of a snake. Addled… adder… snakes… you see where I’m going with this. Yeah.