Thinking Outside The Box

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve been forced to think creatively? Of course you have. You do it every day. Time management and general efficiency are all the result of creative thinking. You don’t get paid for another two days and your food rations are quickly depleting. How does one make dinner with the remnants in your pantry; tomato paste, stale bread, drinking chocolate and creamed rice?

You don’t.

You strike a deal with your flat mate. You convince them you’re worth the left over spagbol, that they really want to trade your three pack of creamed rice for a Mi Goreng noodle. They don’t need to eat that pre-cooked butter chicken packaged perfectly in a take-away container because they went for a run today; no silly, it won’t keep one more night. I’m not cheap, I’m just thinking outside the box.

No, I already told you I’m not poor, as a matter of fact I’m rich! After all, they say that a penny saved is a penny earned. Think about how much money I saved when I didn’t pitch in for that light saber for your birthday, that’s right buddy, you’re getting something special next year! How this blog went from how to think creatively to me trying to justify to myself that it’s okay not having a real job. I don’t know, maybe one of the my compadres can teach you the secrets of succeeding down your creative path but for now, I’m going to go over five ways on how to be more like me!

1. Do not buy your fruit and veg from the super market. This should really be common knowledge but don’t fall for their convenience. You can buy about 20 little button mushrooms from the asains down the road for about $3. Just because you’re poor doesn’t mean you have to eat bad. Speaking of super markets, don’t go to Countdown. It’s shit. Paknsave is better in every way. Better brands, better prices, better selection. Just don’t.

2. www.onedaydeals.co.nz. Everyone has heard of 1-day, but there are like 50 of these fucking websites out there now and here you can view them all on one page! Underwear is the last thing you think about budgeting for and when you’ve ripped your last good pair and are hit with a $25 price tag at Farmers, this website will save your ass (yes, I said it). Three pairs of Jockeys for $30? Roger that.

3. When it comes to flatting, set up a flat account. Putting away extra each week for the bills and flat buys is an absolute life saver. The last thing you need is being hit with a winter power bill when you’ve had to fork out for eight 21^st’s in a month (figuratively, of course).

4. When you do go shopping, first of all eat before you go. Shopping on a full stomach stops you from buying shit. Secondly, don’t buy snack foods. They are a waste of time, they don’t fill you up, they’re expensive, they come faster than they go and most of all, they’re super bad for you. Health tips now Ben? You’re really struggling tonight aren’t you?

5. Drink before you go out. $7 for a beer is a joke. It’s funny when you think about it, when you’re down at the pub enjoying a beer, you never want to buy some wedges cause they’re just a bit too pricey, but you’re never reluctant to buy another fucking beer.

I’m done.

P.S. On the subject of creativity, give this puzzle a go. Try and draw a line through each of the nine dots using only four strokes of the pen.

Edit: You can't take your pen off the paper.

Extras for experts: three strokes.

You'll punch something when you figure it out: one stroke.

Answers next week!