I Took A Shit Today

Hey WANCers,

As Adam said we are in the midst of some pretty hectic times at uni at the moment what with all our assignments being due on the same fucking day. However, despite this I found time in my busy day for two things.... The first, is to write this blog in place of Ben (assuming that Ben won't post tonight), and the second, was possibly the best shit I've taken in a long time.

I was standing outside my tutors office with Adam waiting to see him. He was on the phone though so it was taking some serious time. I sat down in the chair outside his office and it set in. The urge, not the need, just the urge, so I wriggled uncomfortably for a bit as I watched Adam pace around the place.

It seemed to pass and I breathed a sigh of relief and thought "ok, I'll get through this meeting then hit this bad boy up"

Adam said something to me which I couldn't quite care about as at that instant the urge came back. This time it was more potent and I knew, this wasn't an urge I was experiencing, it was a need.

So I stood up, casually walked over to Adam, handed him my folder and said "Hold this, I need to shit" then I casually strolled (because it was like the shit when you are real casual bout it until you get into the cubical at which point it is game fuckin on to get your pants down) to the bathroom. It was definitely a shit where you sit there and think "I'm gonna write a blog about this".

The rest is history. However I did feel uneasy and slightly vulnerable afterwards on my walk down Queen St and the bus ride home.

So, plenty of action in my life at the moment as you can see, with that I leave you with the promise to deliver a better post about nicer things like finishing university forever next week.

WANC out!!


Dont Even Bother With This Post

There has not been nearly enough WANCing going on lately.

Uni is drawing to a close and we are all stressing out. Except for you damn journalism kids because you’re weird and somehow already done.

But then that’s it.

WE have to go out and find real jobs and be grown ups. File tax forms. Play the stock market (I will talk to Ben cause I’m told he has a guy.)

But this morning, as I lay down to write (yes I write lying down, so what!) with my brain slowly crumbling away, like a ginger nut you dropped in your tea and just left it there, I wish more people would play the new game I’ve just invented.

It's the same vain as the Ice game (where your presented with a Smirnoff (also, aside from a bracket within a bracket, my computer has Smirnoff in the dictionary, and I think that is note worthy.) Ice and must down it in one. I’m assuming there is some sort of punishment for not finishing it or throwing up but to be honest I am to tired to take the 5 seconds to research this.).

My game is called eggs bene.

The game where you bring me eggs bene and I eat it at my own pace (I’m going to make this a thing)

The current score board sits at me in first, my mum in second and Lydia in third. I will of course be officiating the game. Creating rules. A board. Possibly selling advertising rights (I wonder if that’s enough of a link to advertising to keep people happy).

It will be awesome.

Sadly, as I said, I am not well. Self induced as it may be I am putting this as the reason for this, lets be honest, shoddy attempt at user created content.

What I mainly wanted to say in this entry was that we the WANCers are sorry that we haven’t been posting much as of late.

With the end in sight we are defiantly not losing out resolve (at least I’m not) and we will continue to post shit you don’t really care about to waste precious seconds of your life.

I am sure posts will resume as normal in maximum 2 weeks even if I have to write them all.

Also I’m working on a top-secret project. You’ll get to see it some day.

And may I close my saying sorry for the pointless post, I felt as though I needed to at least contribute something.