Introductory Rant From The Latest WANCer

As an introduction,

Ben Hope
Radio major (to graduate in 5 weeks all things going well)
Hard worker, big talker, some time party animal

I enjoy a decent amount of music, and talking about music and the world at large and politics and economics and oh so many things. I take the outlook that knowledge is a wonderful thing that we can never really have enough of.
I’ll be the first to admit I can have a difficulty in getting across an idea in written form, but I will try my best.
When I approached Hugh to become a WANCer I wasn’t sure what I would write about, i enjoy the business side of radio and media, because let’s face it that where the money is and there is nothing i love more than dollar bills in my pocket. I enjoy schmoozing clients, talking to people about what interests them and them making heaps of money by doing it. I also love a bit of audio production, and still marvel at the awesomeness of creating a something and trying to find that intersecting point whereby your creation comes to life in the listeners mind.
I also enjoy a good rant.

After intro’s, let us get serious, well sort of.

The world used to be so slow. In the days pre World War I stuff was pretty good. I mean sure people had to deal with the fact a common cold could kill them, 40% of women died in childbirth because doctors didn’t wash their hands and Heinz hadn’t thought up ketchup, but on the whole it’s a time I wish I existed in.

Back then it was simple to be a human, you got up at sunrise, did some menial labour job, got paid, home before dark, read a book, listened to a bit of the wireless or the evening paper to follow the breaking stories of some crackpot American inventor harnessing electricity, flushing toilets and the progress of the Titanic. How exciting!

When you look back in time, those past generations of ourselves did so much more than we have, the biggest thing the modern world can claim is perfecting the art of lying politicians, warfare and and reality TV shows.
Now days we have this intrusive media sphere shaping our lives, the continual shrinking of privacy and personal space. It used to be if you wanted people to care about you or vice versa you had to go talk to them, now its a simple friend request and your ‘mates’ with half the freaking globe. This may sound like old tosh, and that I’m just bitter I don’t have 1000 friends but its more of a fact I really don’t like the modern world.

I dislike the new deranged ideas of architecture with it’s sharp lines, excessive use of glass and using off-white to accentuate sparseness. I dislike that 4 percent of the population hold 80% of the wealth (and the instilled belief that it shouldn’t be regulated by the people because one day they too could be that wealthy), I dislike that entire countries are held to ransom for the idea of democracy, I dislike the threat of nuclear war and I especially dislike the fact that though there are heaps of great people trying to solve this ‘global warming’ thing, damn car companies are squashing the greatest of ideas (my personal favourite is putting hoses into the atmosphere, pumping up sulphur gas to give the impression of a volcanic eruption, it’ll cost about 50 million to set up, but that’s a lot less than the projected 1.6 billion per YEAR Ford & the American’s think we need to spend).

As you can tell, I dislike a lot of things, currently at the top of my list is men with incorrectly tied ties, people who start sentences with ‘so’ and twitter. Twitter I feel is ruining the fabric of society, I understand the ramifications of this and will take your disagreements, but they must be in 140 characters or less.
Currently twitter is in the process of reformatting their website, keeping the same chronological feed on the right while allowing pictures and videos embedded to play on the left. This was done for the users Twitter CEO Evan Williams said “It’s all about getting more out of Twitter in a lot less time.”. A lot less time? Are you serious, it’s already a 140 character maximum bullshit boring ass “technological marvel” that lets famous people say witty funny things that were more than likely not thought up by them in the first place, in the hope of being retweeted and thus gaining more fans, some peoples need for acceptance and to be liked is truly sick.

My main grudge against twitter is actually attack on social media and how they suck away the precious moments of our lives.. Already our society is pretty fast moving, new things appear in days and before we have had time to process, understand and accept its reformatted to something new.

No wonder old people complain about this ever changing world. I have a tough time remembering what Aotea Square used to look like. That is worrying, at my age i should be able too but what is really at the core of it, i just never took the time. Social media formats like twitter, Facebook or Myspace and those other faceless technological behemoths seem to suck away the hours, especially for those of us with extra time on our hands (and those with jobs let us all admit to the cheeky Facebook check, just in case you got a comment or tagged).

So that’s me in a nutshell, I’ll try not to be such a doomsayer and an old curmudgeon next time, but occasionally I can get pretty wound up.

- Thought by Ben Hope.


Slogans for Bogans

When it comes to creating a good slogan for a brand you can’t just do it. Rather it takes a lot of hard work. The slogan needs to slip off your tongue but stick to your brain. Where do you want to go today? Who cares because advertising is everywhere you want to be, therefore the slogans we see sure as shit better stand out amongst the crowd. You want a slogan that changes everything. Again.

So, what can you do to ensure your slogan sticks out. Well for starters, like every creative idea, don’t just think small. Think different. Make sure the way you execute an idea has grace, space, pace… the slogan should be elegant. It needs to essentially sum up the benefit of the brand in one line. Which is pretty difficult if you want to reach out and touch someone in a meaningful way.

The goal is to get your audience thinking yeah ok, I’ll buy that product because I’m worth it. Nailing that perfect slogan isn’t gonna be easy, you can’t sit around and expect it to hit you in the face and say what up. I’m 90% sure 30% of copywriters who come up with the killer slogans you see retire immediately due to never being able to achieve that level of omfg awesomeness again. It’s just how this game works amigos.

On a side note, why are Adam and I such a good team? We try harder. And when you’ve got it, flaunt it. We do, we are cocky bastards who think we are awesome and no one can bring us down. The result? Finger lickin’ good work. Give us 20 minutes and we’ll give you the world. Just one tip from us to help you on your way, Guinness is good for you (or maybe that’s just from Adam, shits nasty).

Where was I? oh right, I was telling you how to be all you can be and write groundbreaking and age-defying slogans. To be honest I don’t know how to write slogans, I usually metaphorically punch Adam in the gut till he chokes something out then I edit it to make it better, then he whinges, then we change it a little, then I edit it to make it better. Just, don’t sit round jacking off, It’s what your right arm’s for, but please don’t squeeze the Charmin’. As I noted before you need to get active and hunt out a reason why people will buy and then condense it into a line. You want to end up with something that melts in your mouth, not in your hand (whatever that means).

Whatever you end up with make it the best a man can get. And with that, I conclude this blog post and collect my tally. 18 slogans used in this post. Shit, I was hoping for more. Well if you find like, 15 of them, and can tell me the brand they are for, then I’ll write a blog about your exploits in a pre-historic land set in the distant future. Put your answers on the facebook page.



Thinking Outside The Box

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve been forced to think creatively? Of course you have. You do it every day. Time management and general efficiency are all the result of creative thinking. You don’t get paid for another two days and your food rations are quickly depleting. How does one make dinner with the remnants in your pantry; tomato paste, stale bread, drinking chocolate and creamed rice?

You don’t.

You strike a deal with your flat mate. You convince them you’re worth the left over spagbol, that they really want to trade your three pack of creamed rice for a Mi Goreng noodle. They don’t need to eat that pre-cooked butter chicken packaged perfectly in a take-away container because they went for a run today; no silly, it won’t keep one more night. I’m not cheap, I’m just thinking outside the box.

No, I already told you I’m not poor, as a matter of fact I’m rich! After all, they say that a penny saved is a penny earned. Think about how much money I saved when I didn’t pitch in for that light saber for your birthday, that’s right buddy, you’re getting something special next year! How this blog went from how to think creatively to me trying to justify to myself that it’s okay not having a real job. I don’t know, maybe one of the my compadres can teach you the secrets of succeeding down your creative path but for now, I’m going to go over five ways on how to be more like me!

1. Do not buy your fruit and veg from the super market. This should really be common knowledge but don’t fall for their convenience. You can buy about 20 little button mushrooms from the asains down the road for about $3. Just because you’re poor doesn’t mean you have to eat bad. Speaking of super markets, don’t go to Countdown. It’s shit. Paknsave is better in every way. Better brands, better prices, better selection. Just don’t.

2. www.onedaydeals.co.nz. Everyone has heard of 1-day, but there are like 50 of these fucking websites out there now and here you can view them all on one page! Underwear is the last thing you think about budgeting for and when you’ve ripped your last good pair and are hit with a $25 price tag at Farmers, this website will save your ass (yes, I said it). Three pairs of Jockeys for $30? Roger that.

3. When it comes to flatting, set up a flat account. Putting away extra each week for the bills and flat buys is an absolute life saver. The last thing you need is being hit with a winter power bill when you’ve had to fork out for eight 21st’s in a month (figuratively, of course).

4. When you do go shopping, first of all eat before you go. Shopping on a full stomach stops you from buying shit. Secondly, don’t buy snack foods. They are a waste of time, they don’t fill you up, they’re expensive, they come faster than they go and most of all, they’re super bad for you. Health tips now Ben? You’re really struggling tonight aren’t you?

5. Drink before you go out. $7 for a beer is a joke. It’s funny when you think about it, when you’re down at the pub enjoying a beer, you never want to buy some wedges cause they’re just a bit too pricey, but you’re never reluctant to buy another fucking beer.

I’m done.

P.S. On the subject of creativity, give this puzzle a go. Try and draw a line through each of the nine dots using only four strokes of the pen.

Edit: You can't take your pen off the paper.

Extras for experts: three strokes.

You'll punch something when you figure it out: one stroke.

Answers next week!


The Importance Of Being Emo.

Life, dear readers, can be pretty crap.

However, it can be pretty choice. So it balances out.

But it’s not the bad times that make us who we are. It’s not the good times either. It’s the act of living. Jelly touched on the fact that when you're writing about something it's easier if you're going through it yourself and that’s true. Very wise writers, much wiser and with much more experience than I, the world over suggest that the best thing a writer can do is live. As you live your life just write. Not a diary or anything like that, but do that if it helps. If you like writing you should just do it when ever. For the hell of it. Put words on paper for any reason. Write anything, poems, stories whatever. No one has to read it.

And as I’ve lived my life over the last few months dealing with everything it has to offer me I’ve written. Witten not about how I feel I’ve just written. I’ve now got scores of random documents on my computer, poems, short stories all sorts. No one will ever read them, probably.

But they are there in my arsenal for if I ever need them.

P.S. It’s been a long week. I’ll write something funny for next time.

P.P.S. My vote is for “Two in the Pink one in the Ink.”